Solved After 9 Years? 😯 😭

Here is something a lot of people don't know about me.

I have been suffering from chronic headaches for more than 9 years.

I'm sure you've all had a debilitating headache, that left you in a dark room unable to function.

Now imagine having a headache every single day, for weeks on end.

My latest headache, went for 14 weeks. Yep, not a typo. Every day for 14 weeks I've had a headache. Some days it's not so bad. Some days - I'm throwing up (sorry TMI) and in bed by 6pm. 

Last Monday something pretty momentus happened and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. I was finally able to get an appointment with a neurologist, who diagnosed acute and chronic migraines - something every doctor has told me I don't have.   

I'd been told for years that my headaches were tension or cerviogenical headaches related to my autoimmune disease or the arthritis in my spine. 

The neurologist told me to throw away all the potentially dangerous and addictive pain killers and muscle relaxants I've been given for years, and try an entirely new protocol.

I've heard those words many times before, and I have to say I was skeptical. She warned me change could take weeks, maybe as many as 8.

The first morning I took the first tablet (a beta-blocker), I was walking from my kitchen to my home office when I stopped dead. I felt a huge pressure in my head, that I didn't entirely notice was there, pop like a balloon. 

I can't describe how strange it was and exactly why I burst into tears on the spot.

After 9+ years with chronic headaches, I still know I have a long way to go. I am still having good days and bad days... 

... but I am having good days again.

I spent a few days struggling with how to feel. While intensely happy there may be a brighter future for me, I also felt an unexpected and powerful sense of loss. What if someone 9 years ago had given me this pill? How much better would the last 9 years of my life been?

How much more time would I have had with my son? Would it have changed my career trajectory? How many horrible hours of pain could I have avoided? 

While I hope none of you have been through something like this, I have a sneaking suspicion some of you will resonate in one way or another.

I have to tell you, I had to nip those thoughts in the bud really quickly. Instead, here are the lessons I want to share from my experience.

The solution is out there. Just because you've had bad advice in the past or someone hasn't been able to solve your problem, doesn't mean the right person and the right solution doesn't exist. Don't give up.

You are stronger than you think. We are all capable of so much more than we know. Until we're tested, sometimes we have no idea exactly how much we can take. The human body and mind can be incredibly strong and resillient.

Let go of the past. Clinging on to what could have been is never a healthy way to be. Accept what has happened - good or bad - and focus on the brighter future ahead. Those stories haven't been written yet and can be anything you want them to be.

Acknowledge the wins. In the last 9 years I have learnt so much. How to work incredibly fast, as I never have any idea how much time I will have in my week. I've created systems and processes to help me function - even on the hardest days. I've discovered an incredibly well of empathy and caring in my son.  

Let people help. This was never one of my strengths, but I have gotten better at accepting what I can't control and asking others to step in where I can't. There is power in that. 

I'd love to know your thoughts. How would you feel in my shoes?

Or have you faced something similar? What did you take from your experience?

In the meanwhile, I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed that my health is finally headed (slowly) in the right direction. Plus I hope my story inspires you just a little bit, to look at the problems you face in a new way. 

Thanks for letting me share,
xx Alecia